Prizes and Peanuts

The seniors pulled their annual prank at school yesterday. Among other things (a lobby filled with balloons, the dean’s whole office moved to the library), they stuck hundreds of plastic forks in the quad.

“The quad” refers to a lawn, not a person. That’s not even funny, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Now, a matching game! Three white male forty-something teachers are looking at the school quadrangle, filled with forks, sharing their first reactions. Match the teacher to his reaction.

The teachers:

Teacher A: Computer Science teacher. Christian.. Tall; slender. Pisces

Teacher B: Physics and Ethics. Theologically Trained Existentialist. Slender. Capricorn.

Teacher C: English. Ambiguous Catholic. Tall; slender. Somewhat dashing. Sagittarius.


“What was your first reaction to the forks on the quad?”

1: “It makes me think of Arlington National Cemetery.”

2: “You think maybe the seniors are saying ‘Fork you’?”

3: “I dunno. Plastic ware?”


Tie-breaker: Write your response to the scene.

The winner gets a coffee mug and sandwich. Judges decision is final. Void where prohibited by law. Actual responses not expected, because, seriously, who reads this? But if anyone actually does, the prizes will be awarded for real.

The most creative thing I've done since the last entry:
I finally finished the drum track for a song I’m recording.

The least creative thing I've done sine the last entry:
Mulched. Well, spread mulch. Spreaded?

Stuff that helped:
One of my students performed with her classical trio at school. Amazing. Surprisingly, it was the modern piece that most struck me, even though I often don’t understand contemporary classical. If Keith Emerson wrote the Planet of the Apes soundtrack for clarinet, cello, and piano, it might have sounded like this. This is what they did, recorded elsewhere. Remember, these are high school kids.




Stuff that hindered:
Those are high school kids. Damn it.

Current project:
That song I’m recording. It’s called “Ring. Nobody Home.” I’ll post it soon.

Next project:
It’s not for my project, but I finished reading Godot so that I can advise a friend on his project.

Guitar?:
Someday.

What I want to be reading these days:
I never much liked Peanuts. I get mad at how beloved it is and how funny it isn’t, and yet I can’t not read it. I can skip Apartment 3D or Prince Valiant, but Peanuts looks like it should be funny. I root for it every time, and I am always disappointed. But I can’t stop. Sunday morning is a time for hope.

Then, Charles Schultz died, and, okay, sorry he died, but now I resent his comic even more. Now an actual dead guy is being not funny, which is to be expected (Sorry, Bernie), but he is keeping new talent off of the comics pages, which is not. There’s no room for Pearls Before Swine in our Sunday comics? C’mon!

That biography of Charles Schultz came out last year, and the reviews were all, wow, the creator of Snoopy was depressed and kind of jerk! I was, like, “No way!” Only in a really sarcastic way that’s hard to type.

But, for reasons consistent with the point of this blog but not yet to be disclosed, I’m currently reading Peanuts: A Golden Celebration.

You know what? It’s pretty good. It’s. . .it’s. . . ahem. It’s funny. There. I said it. And it’s kind of smart. I really like the early, 1950s stuff. Charlie Brown was actually a lot more like Calvin, and there was wit and attitude, not just depressive sentimentality, rolled eyes, sighs, and bizarre Sopwith Camel surrealism. We’ve turned a real corner, here, me and Chuck. But I’m going to stop reading the collection before I get too far into the seventies.

I’m still on page 4 of The Brothers Karamazov.

What I'm actually reading these days:
Peanuts: A Golden Celebration. I just said that. Pay attention.

I recommend:
Ending weekend yard work at 5:00.