In response to this post about finding free time for creative pursuits, the friend who first raised this issue responded:
Angry? Nah. Tired ? Yes! Envious ? Maybe a little. I enjoy creative stuff. I'm just too worn out to do much about it. Of course I could make big changes in my lifestyle-but I think I'm where God wants me to be-so I thank Him for people like you who have some sanity and time to make music and jokes for people like me to read, listen to and enjoy. I've finally come to realize that I don't have a "normal"-maybe "usual is a better term-life style, but I have to yet to learn how to be totally thankful for what I have, instead of comparing my life to others, and noting where mine lacks. Yes, Dead Lennie, this blog thing really does make one think doesn't it ? From: "the friend who gave you permission to publish my e-mail."
And a note from the artist whose painting inspired the song and post Ring. Nobody's Home.
Great to hear from you!
Wow. I can't tell you how strange this is. I was thinking about that exchange- and the song- literally within the last two weeks. I think about it often- I was really moved and flattered by the song, and, indeed, have kept that old Maxell tape with me through my various and numerous moves around the country. It is an old tape- so your timing is great! It really was those amazing, unique exchanges at [The School] that made my experience there so special. I don't think alums (like me) communicate that back nearly enough.
I was a studio art major at Williams, and have kept up drawing and painting along the way. After college I lived in New York for a bit, then Boston, then came out here for grad school in business. I am now done with school and my wife and I stuck around in San Francisco. I work up in Napa for a wine company in "innovations", which means launching new brands. It is pretty creative and keeps my appetite for creativity... well, at least partially satisfied... Working on that.
Anyway, thank you so much for passing that along. It was a great way to reconnect with that experience, the painting, and great to hear from you. And I love that song!
I hope you continue writing songs. It meant a lot as a student to see teachers like you and Mr. [M] who were passionate about the arts, and gave me a lot to look up to...
I hope this finds you well, and I will be sure to swing by next time I am in town.
How any list of sock-off-knocking books could completely neglect Mr. Vonnegut is beyond me. Of course Slaughter-house 5 should be there (and, interestingly, it gets a worthy tribute in The Braindead Megaphone). But the ones I really remember loving are the ones that were not so well received by the literary pundits, Galapagosand Timequake.
As an apology to the late Mr. Vonnegut (so it goes), here's a post I wrote on the day he died, which includes this song I wrote with my good friend Chris some years ago. That's Chris on guitar, playing a cool hook he came up with:
It's been a long time since a book made my brain-goo jiggle like this one has.
I started reading The Braindead Megaphonethis weekend. It jumped to the top of my reading cue for two reasons:
It's by George Saunders, a really weird, brilliant, widely acclaimed short story writer. I've used his story "The Falls" in my classes for years, often for no good reason except that I like it and it baffles the kids (but usually for better reasons than that.) I've waded just a bit into his short story collections, but nothing really hit me like "The Falls."
Then, reason number two, George Saunders shows up on a podcast of "To the Best of Our Knowledge," (you can hear it at the link) reading an essay that gets it right. So I got the book, and he keeps getting it right, and he's smart and funny and bizarre (and maybe a little too bizarre sometimes - a couple of the essays in the middle fell flat for me).
This book captures my opinions about anti-intellectualism and immigration and the importance of language and the role of story and Kurt Vonnegut and lots of other things better than I could. I keep wanting to Xerox his essays and hand them to specific people: "Here. This guy wrote what I think about that."
There are lots of books I like. But this one really gets me jazzed up. This one goes on the short list along with (ready?)
Catcher in the Rye (no points for originality there)
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Life of Pi
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the whole damn series, but mostly the first three.)
That book I read with the cover drawing of a rat in an excercise wheel on the front in the back of the Buick when my parents were driving us to the beach that I lost in my first move and I'll never see again because I don't know anything about it pardon my misplaced modifiers.
lots of things by Tom Perrotta, but mostly maybe Bad Haircut, or The Wishbones, or Election
Watchmen
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (but no more classics; that's cheating)
I Know This Much is True (I had forgotten how much I liked that one, but it's looking down at me from a bookshelf right now, and it wishes to be included.)
Less Than Zero and Bright Lights, Big City, but that was a while ago. College, I think? Just after.
A Prayer for Owen Meany
The Road
Not so short list. There are more. Those were off the top of my head, except for Wally Lamb, who crashed. I reached pretty far back there. I remember getting I Am The Cheese from a friend at my sleepover birthday party somewhere around age nine. I read The Road this winter, and The Happiness Hypothesis last fall.
Is it harder for you to get really excited about books like you used to? I was missing that the past few days. I was wandering around the library and I came across the sci-fi paperback rack. I haven't read sci-fi, like real spaceships and robots sci-fi, since, I dunno, middle school? So I went to that rack, and I was viscerally reminded of that feeling I got from the library when reading still felt kind of new, how exciting it was to grab some paperback novel with exagerated heroes (Oh my God! Doc Savage! I used to love Doc Savage! I forgot all about Doc Savage!) for no reason, how exhilerating that was. Now, older, I feel like time is short, and everything I read has to be worth it. I'm going to put Brothers Karamazov aside - it's a winter book, seems to me. I'm going to finish this Saunders book, and then I'm going to read some really genre-y science fiction and see if it is still that fun.
Anyway, that list has a bunch of books that excited me at one point or another. And, now, The Braindead Megaphone is doing that. The most creative thing I've done since the last entry: Allowed myself to get distracted by iMovie, and edited this short clip of my daughter fencing.
The least creative thing I've done since the last entry: Graded grammar quizzes.
Stuff that helped: There is no more exciting and fertile time for teachers than the last week of school when summer seems like it will be endless and perfect. Then, at breakfast on the first day off, the kids lose it at breakfast and you realize what you're really in for. But this week is that last week before, and everything is possible.
Stuff that hindered: Of course, you also have to grade the finals. And finish quarter grades. And get the curriculum map updated. And. . .there is no more rushed, tedious time for a teacher than the last week of school.
Current project: Nothing feels pressing right now. I do need to finish a film I started for next year's freshmen. I think I may put off the big huge project I planned to start this week. I need more research first. It feels good to have finished "Ring."
Next project: Oh. Yeah. Well, next big project, referenced above. I'm being a little hush-hush still.
Guitar?: Yes! I sat with some beginner's book for a while this week. I rule on "Two String Rock"! It feels silly and fun to feel a sense of accomplishment at such an elementary level.
What I should be reading these days: Final exams.
What I'm actually reading these days: Duh. Did you read the post?
In 1997 I attended the senior art show at the school where I teach and saw a painting I liked. Unlike most of the work, which was labled "NFS," this one was labeled "POR," or "Price on Request."
So I made a request. I asked the artist if he would be interested in a barter - his painting for a song I would write, based on the painting. He was interested.
He wasn't a student I knew very well, but through our brief exchanges and his many art works I had gained a fondness and respect for him. I was getting his painting for a song, and wanted to make sure I wasn't taking advantage. He assured me I wasn't. I also wanted to learn about him. There are two things I remember from that conversation: that he said "I'm just ordinary," and that he was a fan of Ben Folds Five.
So I sat down and tried to write something Ben Foldsy. I hit a chord (Cm11) hard and often, because that seemed Ben Foldsy to me. The first lyric of the song was a response to the artist's claim that he was ordinary.
The rest of the song made me realize why I was drawn to the painting in the first place. I had been hurt by a friend, a betrayal of sorts, and was desperate not to talk to him, whereas I suspected he wanted to talk. Every time the phone rang, I had a mini-panic attack (I wasn't adjusting well) and I wouldn't answer the phone. This was before caller i.d., at least in my house.
In the painting, the perspective shifts. Someone is moving closer to the phone between the first and second panel. Someone who isn't answering the phone. And I imagined why the person might do that.
All in all, a very good week, creatively speaking.
After writing, and thus realizing, that I’ve not done a thing on “Ring. Nobody’s Home,” I went home an did some real work on it. The tone of the song shifted substantially.
I have a really good piano sound module, and on my first pass of this song, weeks ago, the one with the messed up drum track, I used it to record via MIDI. It’s always perfectly in tune, it is easy to record, and, when I have to, it's easy to fix, tweak, extend, change the volume of, shorten, cut, add, or completely change any note I play. Music! It all feels like cheating, but I’m self-conscious about my playing, and it’s a nice safety net. It's addicting and dangerous.
I pretty much have to use it. The upright piano we have – well, I love it, but the sound is very particular, and pianos are hard to mic, especially if, like me, you don't really know what you're doing. Plus, my mics are good for casual use, but for piano, not so much.
I was pretty inspired when I read Here, There, and Everywhere about the way the Beatles recorded. It was such a great mix of spontaneity and meticulousness. They did what they could with what they had. So I decided what the heck. And "Ring" was lacking something. I hoped the feel of a real, mediocre piano might be just the thing.
So I threw up the mics and recorded real piano.
And I had to do it quick. Didn’t have much time to bang loudly after hours. (The other advantage to the MIDI piano is that it can all happen in earphones.)
I’m pleased with the result. There are few bad notes here and there, timing is off in a few places, and the piano sound is flawed, but it’s flawed with personality. (I do wish I hadn’t said “Maybe in a few months” when the piano tuner checked in last week.)
Still have to record the vocals, which is always intimidating – and hard to find time. Can’t have the kids running around thumping and screaming, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to do that. I’ve got some grandiose vocal ideas for the middle section, but we’ll see.
Also this week, a good gig with what I affectionately call the "Yea Jesus!" band. We played a showcase for a kind of rally that we’ve not done often, and it looks like it could become a regular thing. We usually play at church, so it was nice to play music for a good solid half hour before breaking for the talks and the prayer and all. Then we did lots of softer stuff, which is when we shine. It really is a good band; our history together paid off the other night.
But the highlight this week was preparing my daughter for an audition for the talent show at school. My wife helped her think of songs she’d like to sing, but Daughter eventually picked an Alison Krauss song we’ve enjoyed together for years: “Stay.” It was my job to record all of the tracks for her to sing to. In one night. Um, honey? That’s a lot of work.
So I got to work.
But then I just asked her: What if I just play it? You, know. Live. On piano. And you know what? She liked the idea God love her. She’s just pre-teen enough.
She has a lovely, soft, pretty voice, and practicing with her was a highlight of my week. Understand, we are not the Von Trapps. We don’t sing together as a family. This started as awkward for both of us. But I was pleased at how my 11 year-old daughter was able to keep the melody through my inconsistent little improvised key-hammerings, so I thought what the heck, I’ll throw in some harmonies. And it sounded so nice and it was such a sweet moment that I had to hide my eyes for a minute.
And today then the teacher was sick and didn’t show, so the audition is Monday.
Still.
All in all, a good week.
The most creative thing I've done since the last entry: Working out a less-is-more piano arrangement of the acoustic guitar based “Stay” to accompany my daughter.
The least creative thing I've done since the last entry: Forgetting when senior grades were due, and grading waaay too many projects in one day.
Stuff that helped: The article I linked to in the previous post encouraged me to use real piano. That was good.
Stuff that hindered: Hard to record on live mics with people in the house.
Current project: “Ring. Nobody’s Home.” “Stay.” Film for school.
Next project: Never got together about the Godot project. Meeting with director to discuss Tater Tots notes. Got an intriguing letter out of the blue from a nascent film-maker about collaborating on a script. Dunno bout dat one yet.
Guitar?: Not diddily. In the meantime, my six-year-old now plucks out both “Smoke on the Water” and “Iron Man.”
What I should be reading these days: I’ve been too pooped to actually dive head first into Karamazov. Inertia has set it.
What I'm actually reading these days: Nudge, but I think I’ll drop it soon. Interesting, but dry. Too dry for May.
Today I recommend: I’m very pooped and a bit witless today, and the entry suffers for it. But I saw this video via Dave Hill, at it makes up for lameness:
Went to see the Lunch Lady: Tater Tots of Love this weekend. This is the third time I've seen it, the second that I've not directed, and the first that I wasn't playing keyboards.
Here's a letter I wrote to the cast and crew:
Dear Larry, Cast, Crew, and Staff of Lunch Lady: Tater Tots of Love,
ANTHONY DAVID: I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you my soul.
With extreme upward inflection AUDIENCE: Awwwwww.
Yours was the third production of this show. With dress rehearsals, tech, and multiple performances for each, I’ve sat through my fair share of the bizarre, ridiculous, and somehow touching events that happen at that mundane but supernatural high school. But Saturday night was the very first time I got to sit back and just watch. I sat there with my family, no keyboard in front of me, trying to be inconspicuous, and I watched the show.
I had a great time. Congratulations. And thank you.
The experience of watching characters of my imagination come to life is a nerve-wracking, exhilarating, rewarding experience that I never once stopped enjoying. It was a terrific gift that you gave to me. Most of the time, words on pages stay there. But these got up and walked around, emoted, empathized, yelled and sighed and screamed and inhaled and laughed (malevolently, even), and had sets and props and costumes and lights and all the things that they always wanted.
You gave them your heart. You gave them your soul.
There are so many little moments I’d like to point out, but I fear neglecting the many by mentioning the few. I was watching closely, with eyes wide open. My daughter said she spent most of the show sneaking peeks at me, enjoying my reactions.
How weird it must feel to wrap a show knowing that you’ll return to it soon, for an even bigger adventure. I regret that I can’t join you in Scotland. And I regret not knowing you better. It’s a touchy thing to me, figuring out how close or far away to be – and I blew it with this one. How did that time slip by so fast? But I accept Larry’s invitation to be around when you start rehearsals in July, if only for selfish reasons. You seem like such a fun, dedicated group, and I’m missing out by not being around. Plus, these characters you’re creating on stage? I like them. I didn’t realize until Saturday night how much I miss them.
I hope you are enjoying this Monday-after, with jokes in the halls, congratulations from teachers and peers, and that weird “and now what” feeling when you realize you don’t have rehearsal. But mostly I hope that you are satisfied with a job very well done. My relationship with this play is a unique one, and I admire and appreciate your stewardship.
Thanks, S
The most creative thing I've done since the last entry: I've started putting together a film for incoming freshmen.
The least creative thing I've done since the last entry: Cleaned our room. Some.
Stuff that helped: Seeing the show made me want to write again.
Stuff that hindered: May is incredibly busy. There's been no time.
Current project: The film, and "Ring. Nobody Home," which has gone untouched for a week now.
Next project: Current projects feel like next projects.
Guitar?: Nope.
What I should be reading these days: Student essays.
I'm beat and I need to go home. Quick update: a trip to Chicago this weekend was interesting for the conference I attended but a bust for experiencing the city, due to delayed flights on both ends. Today was a huge success, as a I turned my classroom into a gallery space to exhibit senior projects on identity, mostly films.
The letter writer of the last post wrote a response, but I can't post it now because email is down. Next time.
Progress continues on a new recording of a ten-year-old song.
An article in today's Times touches on many of my interests, with implications for my creative and professional lives. It's called Can You Become a Creature Of New Habits?
Quick ones, now. No thinking: The most creative thing I've done since the last entry: Lots of work on the new song. And the exhibition at school today. The least creative thing I've done since the last entry: Getting too worked up about little things at home. Stuff that helped: Fiddling with recording, and doing pretty well.
Stuff that hindered: Six hours in airports for a five hour conference. Current project: "Ring. Nobody's Home." Next project: When will I start the new play? Dunno Guitar?: Okay. Okay. I get it. Soon. What I should be reading these days: The Brothers Karamazov What I'm actually reading these days: The Brother's Karamazov. Yup. But only to page 22. Magazines, mostly. Today I recommend: I loved Iron Man, which is a surprise to no one who knows me.
Two letters of note:
